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Where was I...

It has been some time...

This time last year, I moved to Dallas, hoping to make use of the local makerspace and the expensive, bulky equipment stored there -- mostly just the welding equipment in hindsight. I was just getting into electronics, having refreshed myself on calculus, physics, and a little chemistry in the months leading up to my resettlement. I was between places in the months leading up til then, which was good, because I had the freedom to wander, and could afford the focus impossible at my last address.

This site was in pretty bad shape, with a monster of a test suite poorly implemented, and some major bugs as I recall. But I didn't care. I thought I was even picking up some speed, becoming the ideal I always envisioned myself becoming. I had just covered all the electronic theory and math and science and was ready to start creating this idea in material. I got a tour of the makerspace and signed up that Halloween. Everything was great, until I moved in, and life just stopped. I couldn't think. Actually I think I was suffering amnesia. I lost my job a month later, and slowly, all my furious work and preparation became undone.

During the first few months in 2020, I finally started visiting the makerspace, seeing no other way to proceed. I took a lot of classes, maybe more than I needed, but essentially got a tour of the facilities, and all the trades therein. I learned a lot I didn't expect to and learned I didn't need a lot I was expecting to learn. Fabrication isn't too difficult with the right tools and catalogs, I discovered, at least on a rudimentary level. Then COVID-19 'hit' and everybody went into panic mode, like we didn't know how to handle a little flu. The makerspace shut down that March, just as I was nearing completion of my first scale system. Probably for the best, I don't think any pet rat would survive in that spaceship.

So, while citizens were out rioting and crying the apocalypse, I was running around, looking for alternate methods, gathering supplies, and experimenting as I could afford it. Texas was surprisingly exempt from the rebellious excursions plaguing the rest of the world; maybe it was the giant G.I. plantation down south, so the shops stayed open, and the curfews stayed unenforced. However, my part time job wasn't cutting it, and I got myself as far in the red as I could without doing permanent damage -- you would think I could go even a little further considering this is my life's work. My plan was, leading up to this move, to get a well paying job as a developer, but that never happened, and now it only seems too late of a stepping stone in a well thought out career. After all that scrambling around, looking for answers and solutions, it seems I am already where that was meant to take me. It irks me to imagine I am [becoming] the person I always wanted, always imagined myself being. On this day 4 years ago, when this whole mess started, I needed the hero I am now, my own savior myself... almost. Stay tuned for that.

Looking back on it now, the past few years, and I'm sure it's gonna be the same these last few months following, I am constantly passing in and out of a state of stupor, slowly whittling away at my task as life passes me by. I got ear plugs, which seem to help for the trivial things. But there is no doubt the majority of this year, like all others before it, was thoroughly hampered by unceasing terrorizing and distraction. I must not take for granted the basic ability of cogitation, as that cost me the majority of this year 2020, and practically my whole life. I'm no fool and know how and why this is, but there is no conversation to address it in. I hope no researcher, recruiter, or whoever judges me poorly when I say this civilization can keep going on playing with bat shit or who knows what else, get sick, and die. I'm making my own way now, and won't need to depend on this vicious cycle to secure basic survival. (Up next, how little did I actually need to know to become a doctor?)

You see, where I went wrong, was that I had no real world experience upon which to invest all my research into theory of the proper methods. Well, now I have that. Also, last month I found a safe haven of sorts, and had the opportunity to take a dive into electronic theory. Essentially a big review of what I learned last year, and it turns out, I was on the right track. I had exactly what I needed to know, one year ago, October 31, 2019. I feel a bit insane, but the show must go on.

This post has gotten rather wordy, so I'll call it a recap. I'll be doing some proper updates in the next few months, seeing as how I finally have something worth posting about after that whole exploration, and the finances to invest properly.

1 Comments

Posted on 2020-11-02. Last edited on 2020-11-02.

The Overseer wrote:

Note to self: fix timezones to CST

Posted on 2020-11-02.